Zombies ate my Girlfriend - Retrocide

I have anxiously waited for this album since the release of Patient Zero and can positively state Zombies ate my Girlfriend delivered an album of top-shelf quality that spans 47 minutes with 9 explosive and memorable tracks. They are two middle fingers in the air legit!

The first song, Appropriate Hate Crimes contains a thunderous roar of “kill kill kill, like a fucking disease!” that serves as an indicator to the overall mood of the album. The Spear is a well crafted fuck-you to the socio-political milieu South Africans are experiencing. Lyrics such as “trend of the day, rape and betray, the colourful smokescreen of false unity” and “lies and deceit, free handouts and cheats” are fair comment on the apathetic psyche of South Africans.

For me, Burn the Scene is the heaviest song on the album, containing impressive vocals and guitar riffs. This song delivers ample circle-pit material. A vocal burst in Cold Cuts of “you’ll never get it, you’ll never get, you’ll never get it, even though you know we said it!” is heartwarming stuff for a fellow critic of the cesspool called local music.

Jahan’s title is reference to the Emperor of India that erected the Taj Mahal. The phrase “sycophant asylum” stuck with me, evoking a horrific parallel image of a prison or palace filled with people excessively seeking approval and attention.

Dead Russian spans over 6 minutes with weird electronic effects and infectious guitar solos. There are some odd-sounding guitar pieces 2 minutes into the song. The song Maranatha is slow in tempo with impressive arrangements to fit the raspy to spitting variations on the vocals. This song also features impressive bass riffs.

The title-track Retrocide is the only song under 4 minutes. I found the variations of tempo in the chorus particularly interesting. Hail the Disaster is the longest song on the album, containing an interesting breakdown that adds to the superb production and mixing of the album. All-in-all, a very creative exhibition on contemporary metal that will have you humming siff melodies all day - simply brilliant with a hell of a message.

Since Patient Zero, Louis Henn has been replaced with Chris Hall on guitar and Marc Olwage replaced Wesley Robb on bass. Zombies ate my Girlfriend’s impressive live performances are always a spectacle to witness.

To the snakes, charlatans and general hate mongers, may you and your families rot in the eternal hell that you have created for yourselves!

Bandcamp Retrocide

The United Underground 5

I am not the biggest fan of punk and metal collaborations, even though I am a huge fan of both genres. The problems I experience are usually a bottling of two distinct crowds. Nonetheless, South Africa is a land of contrast and the best thing to do is embrace that contrast.

Half Price is a great punk rock band in the Western Cape and to see them play live is a joyous occasion in-itself.

Bulletscript has seen more member changes than Slayer, but still ever-ready to roll with the punches. Their current line-up is the best I’ve seen and by themselves they are a nice bridge between punk and metal music.

So this is my call-to-action. Get off your asses, smile and enjoy yourself at a gig. Hopefully I see everyone at Manila bar in Longmarket Street this Saturday the 7th of February.

Facepoop event page

Half Price Facepoop page

Bulletscript Facepoop page

Napalm Death - Apex Predator - Easy Meat

Napalm Death are a grindcore band formed in England in 1981. I am not a grass-roots Napalm Death fan as I only became aware of them with the 2005 LP The Code is Red... Long Life the Code. It was their previous LP Utilitarian, released in 2012 that really exposed me to a new milieu of grindcore music.

I was privileged enough to have seen Napalm Death perform at Graspop 2014; they captivated me with beautiful noise performed flawlessly. The vocalist Barney sincerely intrigued me with his super-fast spewing of socio-politics lyrics, compared to his otherwise calm and collected manner.

The album is filled with overall well-crafted drumming. Barney's screams add a lot of flavour to the album. Dear Slum Landlord… is a macabre song with a sludge feel.

Apex Predator – Easy Meat contains 40 minutes spanned over 14 songs. An epic variety on the album, this album is superb progression in their amazing repertoire of incorporating different styles of music.

Rancid – Honor Is All We Know

Over time everything becomes jaded (just ask Bob Dylan), yet Rancid has been on a streak of 8 spectacular albums in a row. For me, they are the archetype of contemporary American punk. Honor Is All We Know is an awesome album with 14 tracks spanned over 31 minutes.

Tim Armstrong is a fantastic story-teller with his definitive punk drawl. His Epiphone guitar riffs tell incredible tales themselves. In my opinion Matt Freeman is the greatest bassist alive. It would have been nice if he sang a song on the record. Branden Steineckert is their current drummer since the departure of Brett Reed in 2009. Branden recorded drums on Let the Dominoes Fall, which signified the new era of Rancid.

Tim and Matt previously played in Operation Ivy. Matt's side project is called the Devil's Brigade, with an awesome release in 2010. Lars Frederickson's side-project The Old Firm Casuals released This is War earlier this year, and it is a spectacular punk album.

As it has been 5 years since the previous album, the first song Back Where I Belong is very applicable to their style and contemporary stance. On Raise Your Fist, Lars provides alternating vocals through numerous anthems. Collision Course is a mix of skater punk and ska without a brass-section.

The song Evil's My Friend has amazing synth riffs. Honor Is All We Know starts with joyous guitar riffs with Tim's voice drawling the verses. A Power Inside is a positive punk melody, also emphasizing Tim's drawling voice. The song In The Streets contains cheery harmonies on the vocals. Face Up is the shortest song on the album, for me it is similar to the song Roots and Radicals.

Already Dead is my favorite song on the album. It is a damn catchy song with Lars excelling on vocals. It sounds like a song from Lars Frederickson and The Bastards, but with a Rancid polish. The song has profound lyrics such as "I am the bastard son of Christ, and I'll see you all in hell, 'cause I'm already dead". The song Diabolical starts with a pounding bass-drum. It is catchy dance music with a junky punk feel.

Malfunction contains awesome alternating vocals. Now We're Through With You is a euphoric punk song, quickening in pace throughout the song. Everybody's Sufferin' presents depressing lyrics such as "Everywhere you are going, people they are so fucked. Everybody's Sufferin'" in upbeat tones. Grave Digger is a very lively song to end the album. It contains fast-paced, heavy vocals and distorted guitars along with walking bass lines.

Since 2004 when I first heard …And Out Come The Wolves I became a super-fan of Rancid. I vouch my respect to this band until death.

Decapitated – Blood Mantra

"Blood Mantra is the most heavy and mature album we ever did in our career" - Vogg 

Decapitated is a death metal band from Poland. Blood Mantra presents their sixth studio album. I really like their 2011 release, Carnival is Forever. For me, Decapitated produces non-bullshit metal, displayed by a structured average of 5 minutes long songs on the album. I especially appreciate the vocals on this release. Decapitated are signed on Nuclear Blast Records (with bands such as Meshuggah, All Shall Perish, Carcass, Exodus and Thy Art is Murder).

My experience of Blood Mantra is that it’s less tiring than other death metal records. The album is overall groovier with extreme metal elements and atmospheric parts. Live, these songs will be a treat. The album is 45 minutes spanned over 9 tracks. Krimh played drums on the previous record, but has been replaced along with the bassist. For me, Vogg remains the dominant force behind Decapitated.

Exiled in Flesh is the first song of the album, a 4 minute long song that closes with an ambient outro. The Blasphemous Psalm to the Dummy God Creation is the powerful single and being 2:30 long it is a no-nonsense metal song. Veins starts with a heavy intro, Rasta enables a powerful song with his diction on the vocals. 5 minutes end with “fuck the system” reiterated as a cap to one crazy, cool song.

Blood Mantra is the title track of the album, a fast and angry song with impressive drum patterns at the end. Nest’ intro contains erratic riffs. The precise arrangements of beats creates a lively song; ‘a fist-punching circle-pit song’. The ambient rhythms on Instinct blend well with the shredding leads. There are extreme metal-esque riffs on the song and an accomplished verse. There is also an impressive solo in the first half of the song.

Blindness is a somewhat melancholic song, but with powerful and dynamic vocals. Red Sun is a 3 minute long ambient, instrumental song. The vocals on Moth Defect only start 2:30 into the song, forming part of an extensive 6:21 composition. For me, Decapitated as band are the heralds to the Polish death metal scene.

John 5 – Careful with That Axe

I really enjoy the previous six studio releases from John 5. In my mind, he is the greatest contemporary solo guitar artist in metal with a vast musical repertoire. The 2008 release, Requiem is my favorite John 5 album. It contains an awesome blend of nylon strings, banjo effects, flamenco guitar and full-force thrashing. It remains an all-time favorite reference to great solo albums.

I think Careful with That Axe is a less broody album than some of the other releases. The album only covers 30:54 as a blitzkrieg of exhibitionist riffs. The album’s title and a song is reference to an actual person, Sidney Sloan who murdered his father with an axe in 1906. He struck his father several times in the head. At first he claimed ignorance and later were sent to a criminally insane institute. Years later he bragged he would do it again if he could.

We Need to Have a Talk about John starts with modern day news samples of axe killings, and others samples, including one from the movie Full Metal Jacket. It serves as a striking intro to tribute Sidney Sloan as a theme on the album.

This Is My Rifle is the second longest song on the album. It starts with samples of machine guns firing to a beat. The incredible solos are true to John 5’s style. The song, Flight of the Vulcan Kelly starts with an erratic intro, building and breaking with sweeps and impressive bass work. This song is definitely of the more experimental songs in John 5’s musical repertoire.

Jerry’s Breakdown has a country music, carnival-type theme to it; a hillbilly-esque song. The awesome riffs in the middle of the song confirm a happy tune with impressive builds to amazing solos. Villisca is a straight forward good rock and roll song. Portrait of Sidney Sloan has a broody, fast intro with a fitting horror movie feel to the song.

Jiffy Jam is happy country music type song with banjo and steel-string acoustic riffs throughout the 3 minutes. It is well thought out and almost cheery bar song. Six Hundred And Sixty Packers in Hell contain groovy riffs and fitting bass guitar work. John 5 displaying his ability to scream his guitar.

El Cucuy covers the flamenco guitar song. A classic build signifies being near the end of the album. The Dream Slayer is surprisingly the heaviest song on the album as the final song. With harsh guitar screams and pounding drums it serves as closure to an impressive musical exhibition.

John 5 Website

Boargazm - The Backoning

My first impression of Boargazm was that they are just another alternative metal act. Boargazm is a 4-piece band from Pretoria and I admit I am oblivious to decent metal from Pretoria and I do not think Boargazm is per se a metal band. The Slipknot-esque influence on most of the songs and the varying arrangements of a noise band, makes me purposefully steer away from bottling them into a genre. Whatever they are, their album is full of it and it starts with the very graphic album art.

The Baconing is the follow up album to their first album The Aporkalypse. The 9 songs on The Baconing averages on 3:20 a song, which exposes a template of conceptual planning on the album. The drums that are recorded live on the album gives a raw dynamic to the songs.

The Intro is a mediocre 30 seconds wasted. Underverse follows as a lively song with groovy riffs. I assume the ‘underverse’ reference is from the Chronicles of Riddick. An underverse is a constellation of dark, new stars. The song that follows, Rebel Slave is my favourite song. With a lot of Slipknot influence, the pounding riffs and queer sludge sounds are unfortunately undermined by the escalating harmonic vocals on the chorus.

In Days of Yore carries the album with Slipknot-ish screams and sounds, ending with the guitars fading from left-to-right to give a nice effect. Of Mice and Men is another lively track, that starts with faint pig squeals. The instrumental track that follows, Breach starts with a weird intro and is an overall weird song. One could mistake it for an Evanescance track. The longest track on the album brings the momentum of the album to a near halt. There are ascending melodies that thickens the song a bit.

Star Overseer has chugging riffs, switching to wailing screams that powers the way to an erratic verse. The song contains a unique bass solo. Ideals of a Fool features Herman le Roux from Juggernaught, who provides weird blues hooks on the song. Ending the song with pig squeals.

Not gonna get us is a Tatu cover and can just rightly fuck off! It is silly to have it as track 9 on an 11 track record. It fucks with the composition of the album. There is a weird solo fused over the original hooks of the song. The best thing about this song is the fart and snot sounds at the end. Empire of Doom contains solid bass riffs and is an overall good song, I like the crashing vocals on the verse. Aftermath as an outro is utterly irrelevant.

Live, their stage presence occupies more space than four people tend to. I rate them as the type you want to have a braai with. At both shows that I saw them perform at, they held their own with the best punk and metal bands in the Western Cape. Live, Cicero Carstens accomplishes triplet slaps on the bass with ease. Jason Hinch playing drums, also performs for the Black Cat Bones and Chris Danger Thundervolt, the second guitarist plays bass for Dead Lucky, as well as the Black Cat Bones.

I am indifferent to the pig masks and the overall leitmotif of the aporkalypse. They have an amazing stage presence and are known for wild antics such as jumping higher than they should. I rate they will always be uncomfortably cramped on the metal stage at festivals; but would just be as ill-fitted on a main stage.

Their soundcloud